I Have My "Doubts" too Meryl Streep

"Attention Catholic Church attendees! Jew in sanctuary, Jew in sanctuary"! Yep, it's true I was at 5:00 mass. Truthfully I was a little nervous, would I be spotted as an imposter? A Jewish princess trying to go unnoticed at mass... are you asking yourself why, and did I dare take off my sunglasses? I had just rented the movie "Doubt", that could have been the impetus or naively thinking I'd spot Meryl Streep and Phillip Seymour Hoffman. I'm searching for a deeper answer but so far nada. The fact remained there I was and I was shocked and dismayed by my what I saw. Men, women and children in shorts! Huh? When did they dispose of the dress code? It's a Church people, not beach blanket bingo!

Admittedly I haven't been to Temple in quite a while.... do Jews wear shorts too? And if they do, maybe I should get my legs tan and go. Oh, but it didn't end there....jeans, badly fitting bermudas, teenie tiny skirts and the sin of flip-flops! Flip-flops I say! I was tempted to hide my eyes or turn to stone. I wanted pomp and a lot of circumstance, not "casual attire". Ladies in pastel dresses and hats, men in suits, children in uncomfortable itchy frilly clothes, where did they go?

My head bowed in disillusionment I turned my attention to the service. Was I at a rock concert? When did hip-hop become liturgical? "Stop the music"! "No, not another song"! I want a sermon not tunes. I was an English major, I needed meaning, metaphors, morals. I finally decided that either renting movies is a bad idea or I need to put on some flip-flops and find religion.