The Blessing of the SUVs

Now I've heard everything! I was shocked and awed. I had no idea Sunday was "bring your General Motors car to church day" did you? I've heard of the blessing of the pets and the hounds, but not the SUVs. Yep, it's true, it's true... Pentecostal Bishop Charles H. Ellis III in Detroit shared his sanctuary's WIDE body alter on Sunday with three, I say three, shiny sport utility vehicles! Wow Bishop, that was mighty creative thinking to have the cars on stage for a, "Lord please help bail out Detroit" service. To make matters ironic the vehicles were all gas-electric hybrids! I guess it's better late than never? But not really. I heard they've been hiding those electric babies away since 1997/8. Bummer that they weren't cost effective, and screw futuristic thinking... but let us pray anyway.

"We have done all that we can do in the union, so I turn it over to the Lord", General Holiefield, a U.A.W. vice president for Chrysler, told the congregants. Ok, but what about those fat union contracts Lord, do they get to keep them and get bailed out? Mixing bail-outs and religion is down right confusing isn't it? Besides, I think the Lord was busy Sunday trying to get the Detroit Lions in the end zone so they could win one football game. I believe Monday would have been a better time to get his/her attention.

And just one more teensie weensie detail. Sorry to bring this up in the middle of a prayer but what about those crappy cars the BIG THREE insisted on producing? The ones that weren't built to last? The ones that got really, really, really, low gas mileage. Is it hard to make better cars? Oh, but hold on just one second didn't the Japanese figure out how to produce cost effective, fuel efficient automobiles? I think they did. Bishop Ellis, I say after church ditch those SUVs and buy Japanese.