Oh no, anything but the clicker!

I've called the paramedics to come remove the tv clicker from my hand. I don't know what I'll do if they can't, as it certainly doesn't go with any of my fall clothes. Anyone know a good surgeon or exorcist? I have been sitting in front of the tv clutching the damn thing since the finals of Wimbledon back in June, then clicked to the Olympics for weeks on end, next click was Denver and St. Paul for the conventions and finally clicked to the U.S. Open where tonight at long, long, long last my tv life will come to an end. I've scheduled the paramedics right after the men's singles final to pry the channel turning device from my hand. I certainly hope I don't have to serve them appetizers. Worse than lack of feeling in my wrist and inability to use my fingers is now I have to find a life. Got meds?

I must admit I didn't think anything could keep my attention after the U.S. mens swim team . All my expectations were surpassed however during the political conventions. Whoa baby, things got so contentious around here I almost had to use the clicker as a weapon. I think it can double as a Ninja device if used properly and I need to learn that. I know at least 3 or 4 Republicans who are home making vodoo dolls in my likeness. (I hope they don't use red or yellow material, not good colors for me) POLITICAL CONVERSION is not, I repeat not, for the faint of heart. If you have a cardiac condition or take Viagra or Cialis do not try it without consulting your doctor first. And if you have an erection lasting more than 4 hours as a result, go directly to an emergency room...

I have managed to convert one Portuguese water dog to a Democrat, and in the good old Mayor Daley tradition will try and get him registered to vote.