My friend Rick thinks I'm sounding "grouchy". I wonder if that's his nice way of saying I've become a raving bitch? I am a getting a little testy! I'm sick of the ranting about cash for clunkers, btw I need cash, but don't own a clunker so I'm still strapped for $$$. The health care tirades are actually starting to give me hives, so should I or shouldn't I call a doctor? MY NERVES ARE SHATTERED and who's going to refill my Xanax? I need peace, love, 1966! Is Jimi Hendrix dead? Get me to an ashram or yoga retreat asap. I read the places are bulging at the seams with cranky folk just like me. Adria, stop jumping up and down on your computer keyboard and join me. We need quiet, shhhhhhh.... and cheap room and board.
I could meditate. No one laugh. I read that at the Himalayan Institute's 28 day self-transformation program the day begins with 6:00 a.m. meditation. Excuse me? I couldn't possibly start self transformation that early. I can't begin transforming until 10:30 after 3 cups of coffee and a quick application of eye shadow. The day continues with hatha yoga classes, breathing and relaxation practicums and about four hours of light chores like making beds and chopping vegetables. Oy and what's a "practicum"? As for "light" chores... those aren't light! I feel crankiness returning. I hate making beds and absolutely do not do "hospital corners". Chopping? I don't want to chop. Do I look like freaking Jooolia Child? I'm starting to itch again. I need different chores, like selecting a nice Sauvignon Blanc for dinner. Oh and I don't share, so no bunking with others. OMMMMMMM!
I feel more relaxed already. Maybe thinking about self transformation and meditation is good enough. Now where's my eye shadow?
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2 comments:
That's truly funny. You have a great gift.
Sorry but there is a seriousness about what's going on. These are very tough times for the country. It's borrowing money like a drunk, being pushed into an England and France like economy... unimaginative, unproductive with over 20% of the young people unemployed and not enough growth for the economy to absorb them. Talk about nervous breakdowns.
We got here by people just buying the bullshit that politicians have been feeding them for years and it gets worse every election. This time "we were the ones that we had been waiting for" - whatever that means and it seems to be the same crap, only worse. There are many opposite opinions and that's what makes stress. If we don't go through the stress, which most Americans won't we won't make any good decisions at all.
Please keep writing this stuff. Humor has always been the thing that kept humans in some balance.
Gail Darling! Ok, what can I say? Let's start with "cash for clunkers" why are you all nervous about it? Lets think positive here; car dealerships will give you up to 3000.00 for you beat-up/smog making/pollution-on-wheels automobile that's worth shit. Now we have the "Environmentally bad car" locked up and a good car on the road.. We all win, sales people keep their jobs at the dealership, people who couldn't afford a new car now can, safer cars are on the road and little by little we get less smog in the air... Did you like that? Well good! cos I have no F*&^%$ idea where that came from (damn bottle of Merlot)...
You say you “need peace, love, 1966!” Yeah baby! ME TOO! I need all of that and the grass, and the sounds of good rock-n-roll music and party baby! ... Just let me do that for one day, ok 3 days.. Wait! Listen to old rock and roll and have peace and love and lets not forget get high? Ok when? Where? Haven’t done that in a long time, I rather do that than go to a Yoga Retreat, what the hell is that all about? A YOGA RETREAT? GAIL ARE YOU NUTS?!?!?! You want to find peace? Tranquility? Love? What? A 28-day yoga triathlon… Where you begin the day at 6:00 a.m. meditating? Let me tell you how I meditate at 6am from home I am still sleeping and dreaming, that is the best meditation EVER… You call that "Peace, love and 66? Ok whatever you are smoking don’t pass it this way, you are trippin’ girl!!!
Peace is when you can lay back in a hammock on the beach with a drink on one hand and whatever you want on the other hand (that could be a cute guy's ass)….. Yoga? I know it's great for your body and your “interwhatever” and it’s a lot of WORK, yup, for some reason peace quiet and tranquility I’ve never found it anywhere I worked before…And you have to do what for 28 day self-transformation? What would you want to be transformed into? Let me think of what I would like to transform into hmmm … That’s a good question…I will lay on my hammock, with some drinks next to me and come up with what I want to be if I wasn’t me… And meanwhile the for all those days you have to do what, oh yea, do what “The yogababa chief people” tell you to do… Honey!! Do me a favor, get a blanket, a basket, a bottle of wine, cheese, salami, good bread, an MP3 player a good book and get out of the house and go to the nearest park, lay there and drink, drink lots and look at the sky and forget the damn eye shadow and don’t forget your “back massager” you need to release some stress… Breath in… Breathe out….
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